In the world of Japanese television, new drama shows air on a frequent basis. Every year four separate television seasons air, so there’s a whole different lineup of shows to look forward to every 3 months. With few exceptions, most of these shows are brand new original series and are intended to last for only a single season. Thus, you will see that the biggest stars in Japan have a long resume of TV work, sometimes starring in multiple TV shows every year. This differs from how things work in America, where the biggest celebrities strive to star in big-budget films, and only use television work as a stepping stone towards a cinematic career. Starring in a dozen different TV shows that last only one season is seen as a sign of failure here, whereas in Japan it’s a sign of your popularity and evidence of a long-lasting career. One such Japanese star is Matsushima Nanako (松嶋菜々子), star of many successful dramas and movies over the last 20 years, including Great Teacher Onizuka and the original Ringu. Her latest work, Kaseifu no Mita (家政婦のミタ), may be the most successful endeavor of her career thus far, with it’s finale episode garnering the highest ratings for a dorama in over 10 years.

Here, Mita-san casually sets the record for the fastest Rubik's cube solve ever.

Asuda Keiichi (Hasegawa Hiroki, 長谷川博己) is a newly widowed father of four. His family is understandably in shambles after his wife’s death, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that Keiichi had had an affair with a coworker. With their mother gone, no one is left to take care of household duties while the family is working or at school. Keiichi decides that it would be best to hire a housemaid to take care of these affairs. Enter Mita Akari (Matsushima Nanako), the mysterious new addition to the Asuda household. Mita is excellent at her job. Every task is completed quickly and to perfection. She knows everything. If you need something, she always has it in her purse. She even cooks exactly the same as the dearly departed matron of the family. Her supernatural housekeeping abilities alone are enough to arouse suspicion as to who Mita is, but she hold even more mysteries. She is cold and emotionless, never raising her voice, never smiling. She will do anything that she’s ordered to do, if it’s in the realm of possibility. And anything means anything. When the Asudas find this out, their actions and their interactions with Mita lead to an endless barrage of revelations and turmoil,threatening to tear the family apart.

Here, Mita-san proves that you don't have to be as tall as Nate Robinson to dunk a basketball.

As Mita, Matsushima Nanako is the most likeable character in this drama, even if she has to play a role that requires her to act like a robot. Throughout the series you’re led to believe that Mita is in fact not human. Whether it be her superhuman strength, her encyclopedic intelligence, or that she closes her eyes and “recharges” instead of sleeps, you would think that this was a Japanese remake of the largely forgotten 80′s American sitcom, Small Wonder. It seems to have been a very intentional choice to make Mita seem inhuman, as the Asuda family often treats her as if she were an object to be used for their own gain. Whenever this happens, it always leads to catastrophe, as things continually get worse as the series progresses. Much like the drama The Queen’s Classroom, which was also written by Yukawa Kazuhiko, Kaseifu no Mita really piles on the misery for most of the series until things start to get better. In The Queen’s Classroom, you sympathized with and rooted for the entire Classroom when things got bad. But in Kaseifu no Mita, the misery is piled onto the Asuda family, characters that are mostly unsympathetic. When the family starts to fall apart, and when they try to use Mita as a quick-fix to their problems, it feels like they deserve the negative consequences of their petty actions. Only when they stop treating Mita like dirt do their characters start to become more likeable.

Another likeable character on the show was Aibu Saki (相武紗季, Rebound) as Yuki Urara, the sister of the deceased mother of the Asuda family. Her character is there mostly to serve as the only comic relief on the show, but also to show a personality that is the mirror opposite of Mita’s. Unlike Mita, Urara always shows her emotions on her sleeve and she is always trying to help our the Asudas. She is also pretty terrible at everything she tries to do. Despite her efforts to help, the Asudas treat Urara like dirt much in the same way that they treat Mita. If you’re treated like crap by the crappy Asuda family, it’s safe to say you’re probably a likeable character. That is unless you’re the Asuda’s horrible neighbor, Minagawa Mariko (Sato Hitomi, 佐藤仁美), the only character on the show that deserved a comeuppance more than the Asudas.

America did the "superpowered emotionless domestic robot who will do anything you say" shtick first!

That’s not to say that this series was horrible. Once the Asuda family gets over their own problems they become pretty tolerable, and the show is able to focus more on the life of Mita. That’s when Kaseifu no Mita is at its best. With the immense popularity of the show, there will definitely be discussions about a second series or special episode being made, despite the insistence by the creators that they would only make one season. Whether that happens or not remains to be seen, but it would be interesting to see them try to successfully pull it off. If you enjoyed the far superior The Queen’s Classroom (my favorite drama ever), you will find some similarities here between the main characters. While I didn’t think it was the best show ever, I thought it was worth watching just for Matsushima Nanako. A few of the other characters aren’t the most sympathetic figures, but I think it’s still enjoyable.

 

Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO) is widely considered among dorama fans as one of the great Japanese Doramas of the 1990′s. It was a precursor to the many insprational teacher comedy-dorama shows that aired in the 2000′s. If you’ve seen and enjoyed shows like Gokusen and Dragon Zakura, but haven’t seen GTO yet, you will see that the original is superior to them all.

Onizuka-sensei showcases his teaching methods.

Onizuka Eikichi (Sorimachi Takashi, 反町隆史), aka Great Teacher Onizuka, is a former motorcycle gang leader with the dream of becoming a teacher. With a third-rate degree and a shady background, he hasn’t had much luck finding a school that will hire him until his friend tells him about a job opening at the Holy Forest Academy. He quickly makes a bad impression on everyone there by karate-kicking the Vice-Principal in the head. The director of the school is impressed by Onizuka’s passion and quickly hires him, of course. Unbeknownst to Onizuka-sensei, he’s been assigned to teach the problem class*, class 2-4. And aside from the school director, all the other teachers hate him and want him to get fired. One of his only allies is the beautiful Fuyutsuki Azusa (Matsushima Nanako, 松嶋菜々子, Sorimachi’s real wife), and even she is disgusted by his tactics half of the time. Now Onizuka-sensei must earn the trust of his students, one-by-one, while the odds are continually stacked against him**.

(*A problem class of Japanese students is about as problematic as a classroom filled with 24 well-mannered geniuses anywhere else in the world. Aside from the occasional attempts at seducing and/or blackmailing the teacher, nude photoshopping, prostitution, and raping.)

(**Replace a few names and places and that synopsis is identical to the plotline of Gokusen)

That's one way to welcome your new teacher to the school.

There are a few reasons that Great Teacher Onizuka is considered the classic that it is. First and foremost is the great performance of Sorimachi Takashi as Onizuka. Seriously, this guy is the coolest virginal, delinquent ex-gang member, wise, funny, inspirational, perverted character I’ve seen on TV. He may not be up there in the pantheon of the greatest TV guys ever like Agent Dale Cooper, Ron Swanson, Omar, Walter White, and Number 6, but he’s close. And none of those guys have a special condom that they’ve been saving for years until they meet the right woman.

Yes, this is gonna be cheesy, but they ARE too cool for school.

Speaking of the right woman, Matsushima Nanako is also great as Fuyutsuki-sensei, and she has a real natural chemistry with Sorimachi that shines through in their scenes together. She’s also gosh darn beautiful, and it was good to see that she could express some human emotions after watching her (required) robotic performance in Kaseifu no Mita. Also, the show is funny. Raunchy funny. While similar shows such as Gokusen*** take place in saccharine fantasy versions of the world, GTO exists in a more humorous and perverted world that perfectly matches the personality of the title character. It seems like every time that you see a TV or computer screen in the show there’s a porno video playing or a naked woman on the screen. Some might think that’s disturbing for a show about a, inspirational teacher and his students, but it’s all part of the silly mood of the show. Compared to the other teachers at the school****, he’s a saint.

(***Even though every episode and season of Gokusen plays out in the same way in the same dream world, I still love it.)

(****The other teachers are some of the shittiest people you can find. When they’re not busy being bad teachers, they’re beating up their students, trying to rape other teachers, and seducing their students. I hope actual teachers in Japan are better than that! Although they sound just like the NYC teachers I read about in the newspaper every day…)

Um, yeah. I don't think you want this guy to be teaching you math.

There’s also Special Episode of the show after the season ends, as well as a follow-up movie. They’re pretty much more of the same, but with Onizuka solving the problems of students and teachers alike at new schools. I recommend those as well once you’re done with the main series.

So, yeah, if you want to watch something funny, raunchy, and not politically correct at all, then give Great Teacher Onizuka a try. There’s a reason that so many shows have tried to imitate it over the last decade-plus. As good as they may (or may not) be, they haven’t been able to capture the complete package of comedy, drama, and inspiration as well as GTO did. I’ll leave you with Sorimachi’s delightfully cheesy GTO theme song, Poison. Enjoy.

 

Tokyo Jihen made their last appearance on popular Japanese television show Music Station this past Friday evening. Their final mini-album “color bars” was recently released on the 18th of this month. The 5-track EP features one song written by each member of the band.

Here’s their performance, a medley of their final single “Konya wa Karasawagi (Much Ado About Nothing Tonight)” and their first-ever single “Gunjou Biyori (Ultramarine Weather)”. “Konya wa Kawasawagi” is the track off the new album written by lead vocalist Shiina Ringo.

Tokyo Jihen Fun Fact of the Day: Did you know that Tokyo Jihen’s bassist, Kameda Seiji (亀田誠治), was born in New York City?

 

I happen to watch a lot of Japanese Television shows. They’re called Dorama (ドラマ) shows there. That’s how Drama is pronounced in Japanese. The term Dorama isn’t limited to dramatic shows either, as it encompasses comedic shows as well. These shows are often very touching, and they can also teach you valuable life lessons. Here are a few lessons that I’ve learned from various shows (spoilers abound).

Don't go chasing waterfalls. And don't go catching box cutter attacks with your bare hands. Yeouch!

1) Arson is Okay

Learned From: The Queen’s Classroom (女王の教室), Kaseifu No Mita (家政婦のミタ)

In the superb drama The Queen’s Classroom, villainous teacher Akutsu Maya (Amami Yuki) rules with an iron fist. In this example, Sato Erika (Kajiwara Hikari), class bully and all around b-word, finally has the tables turned on her when the rest of the class grows tired of her act. Erika responds to this in the most rational way she can. She trashes her classroom, pours gasoline all over the place, threatens to light herself and the place up, and attacks Akutsu-sensei with a box cutter. Sensei catches the box cutter with her bare hands and then berates Erika for being so stupid.

So what’s Erika’s punishment for all of this? Expulsion from school, trouble with the law? Nah, All of her classmates forgive her and she returns to the class as if nothing happened.

In Kaseifu No Mita, housemaid Mita Akari (Matsushima Nanako) will follow any order given to her by her employer. Her newest employer, Minagawa Mariko (Sato Hitomi), upon learning that her husband is cheating on her, orders Mita-san to kill her, her husband, and their child by burning the house down. Shocked that Mita would actually follow through on that, Minagawa orders Mita to light herself on fire instead. She almost does that too, but the usual tearful inspirational Dorama speech saves her.

Mita’s punishment for almost burning down the house? A nice stern talking to from the police.

It should be noted that both The Queen’s Classroom and Kaseifu no Mita were written by the same person, Yukawa Kazuhiko. He seems to have issues with lighting yourself on fire. And tall, emotionless women dressed in black.

The raifu of the waifu is ended by the naifu.

2) Attempted Murder is Okay

Learned From: Kaseifu No Mita (家政婦のミタ)

As in the previous lesson, Mita-san will do anything that she is ordered to do, if it’s possible to do. In this case Asuda Yui (Kutsuna Shiori), eldest daughter of the family Mita works for, orders Mita to kill her. When Mita actually tries to kill Yui, she orders her to stop. Yui then gathers up her resolve and orders Mita to kill her again, and to ignore her if she calls off the order. The following ensues: Mita tries to kill Yui, Yui fights back, Yui gets the knife and turns it on Mita, Yui’s family walks in and Yui turns the knife on herself, tearful inspirational Dorama speech™, situation resolved.

Punishment? None. That’s four people she’s attempted to murder now.

It's roofies, Mita-san!

3)  Date Rape is Okay

Learned From: Great Teacher Onizuka (グレート ティーチャー オニヅカ )

Fuyutsuki Azusa (Matsushima Nanako, again) is the pretty English teacher at Holy Forest Academy. Teshigawara Yuu (Ida Kunihiko) is the creepy-as-heck math teacher that enjoys activities such as stalking Fuyutsuki-sensei and plastering his bedroom wall with hundreds of photos of her. Using his extensive knowledge of everything Fuyutsuki, he manages to trick her into coming to his apartment. Once there he offers her some wine, which he’s spiked with his own homemade “Love Drug”. She passes out almost immediately, and Teshigawara carries her into the bedroom so he can have his way with her. Thankfully, Great Teacher Onizuka (Sorimachi Takashi) finds out about Teshigawara’s obsession. He’s able to save her right before Teshigawara violates her.

But what becomes of Teshigawara? Arrested and fired, you would think. But of course, nothing happens! He stays home for a few days out of shame, but his rapist tendencies are never brought up again. He goes right back to work, and neither Onizuka or Fuyutsuki say anything about it to anyone.

Guess what! Crazy arsonist writer guy wrote this one too!

Hey, stop looking at her like that!

4) Child Abuse is Funny!

Learned From: Don Quixote (ドン★キホーテ)

Don Quixote is a comedy about a Yakuza boss and a child protective services worker. The catch is, by some random magicks, they switch bodies like in all of those terrible 80′s movies! Normally, you wouldn’t equate a show that features many forms of child abuse with a comedy. But you forgot two things. One, this is a body-switching comedy. Two, this is Japan. They don’t follow your rules, man! They play outside the box!

Hey, if you can successfully build a comedy series around the happenings of child protective services, then kudos to you.

 

Hahahaha, Takeshi! You got Punk'd, with AIDS!

5) If you procreate with a HIV+ person, you and your kid won’t get infected!

Learned From: Kamisama, Mou Sukoshi Dake (神様、もう少しだけ)

Finally, we come to the show Kamisama, Mou Sukoshi Dake. The show that tells you that it’s okay to have unprotected sex with those who have HIV! Kano Masaki (Fukada Kyoko) is your average high school Japanese girl. She likes having fun and sleeping with dudes. She’s excited about going to see a concert with songs written by her favorite composer, Ishikawa Keigo (Kaneshiro Takeshi). But, oops! She lost her ticket! What’s a girl to do now? Simple. Sleep with a random dude for money. Then go to the concert, meet the composer, and sleep with him too! But, oops again! The random dude she prostituted herself to had HIV. Whoops! Now Keigo needs to get tested too. Don’t worry, he’s okay!

Years go by, Masaki and Keigo go through many trials and tribulations, and they get back together. Keigo decides he wants to have sex with her again, and knocks her up! But it’s okay, Keigo and the baby test negative for everything. Moral of the Japanese TV story: HIV isn’t contagious. Unless you’re a woman, or a teenager, or a prostitute.

Body-switching comedies? Criminal acts without consequences? AIDS immunity? Don't be ridiculous!

 

Today is a very sad day. The band Tokyo Jihen (東京事変) has announced that they are breaking up (site is in Japanese). Tokyo Jihen is a band formed and fronted by my favorite musical artist in the world, Shiina Ringo (椎名林檎). They will have a farewell tour in February, culminating in a last concert on the 29th. My friends saw them in concert a couple of months ago, and now they’re breaking up. I’m going to blame my friends for this one. You bastards!

Best of luck to all the band members in their future endeavors. Here’s hoping that Shiina resumes her solo career soon.

I’ll be writing many posts about Shiina Ringo and Tokyo Jihen in the future. For now, let’s remember them with one of their awesome music videos.